Happy New Year my friends! How cheesy was that title?? Ironically that title took more effort to think of than this entire post. Can we just pretend I came up with something a bit more clever than that?
I cannot believe it’s been so long since I’ve logged into my dashboard and pulled up a fresh window, just waiting to be filled up with all sorts of words and published. I have the writers version of stage fright and I’m feeling nervous showing back up on your feeds out of the blue. Let’s hope I have the ability to get everything out all that’s been marinating inside my brain. As I write this I have both boys in the room with me, both on iPads and Toy Story playing on the TV. Let’s not judge, alrighty?
Let me paint you a picture before I proceed.
The boys, iPads, Toy Story, and then there’s me.. Wearing those Victorias Secret boyfriend style sweatpants. You know, the ones that are supposed to make you look casual and cute but in reality they make you look wretched and worn out. Its 5:00pm on the dot and I haven’t a clue whats for dinner. Could be bratwurst, could be pasta, either way it’s not fast food because I cannot stomach another meal from a paper bag. It’s 5:12pm now, it was too dark in the bathroom for my oldest to find the light switch so I helped him.. We had an in depth conversation about electrons and neutrons and how milk tastes good while he’s posted on top of the toilet but I digress. Leaving the bathroom I start my mental countdown to bedtime.
I’m not even going to pretend that I have it all together, because I can assure you, you would see right through me. My days are consumed by my children, and by choice. My absence, I am 100% blaming my ability to realize whats truly important and pour all of my energy into said children.. and nothing else.
My blog took the backseat, and I’m not sorry.
I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with this but I’m going to keep typing what comes to mind. I have a hard time balancing the different people I have to be. I’m a wife, mom, friend, blogger, aspiring writer, photographer, and taco lover, and y’all.. I don’t know how to juggle to save my life. So, I dropped the blog and the Instagram for 2 months and things got a little easier. Until I realized that writing and sharing pictures of my family is what makes me happy.
And we’re back to square one. Right now, it’s 5:26pm on a Monday night and I’ve decided to crack open my laptop and write some words to ease my mind.
Yes, it’s working.
But.. is it a jumbled mess of ramblings to you? Maybe. I’m thinking it could be quite comical and offer insight to someone who may need it as much as me.
So, hindsight 20/20, I should’ve taken the time for myself before taking on all that life demands of me.
Striving for perfection is overrated, striving for happiness is all that truly matters in the end.
(You can quote me on that.) SO, I plan to do this now. So long as my oldest gets to school on time, my youngest doesn’t fracture anymore bones, and my husband has love in his heart, I’m doing my job and I should feel accomplished.
Let my tombstone one day read “She ‘mom-ed’ so hard that her family won’t know what to do without her, but will thrive even after she has gone.” Instead of “She had a lot of Instagram followers and a smokin’ hot bod.”
Yes, I just giggled out loud at that last bit. Sounds pretty ridiculous right??
So, my friends, I’m back.. but on my own terms, because I desperately need to be more lenient when it comes to myself. I’m pretty sure you should also. 🙂
The sun is down and I need to get up and turn on some lamps, my circus needs to be fed, and I must conceal these bags under my eyes before my husband gets home.
Until next time! ..and there will be a next time.