What do you do when the weight of motherhood sits down on your shoulders? When its so heavy that you want to fall, when it feels like theres no where else to go but down.
Where do you go?
I usually go to sleep.. but that’s beside the point.
Disclaimer: Its about to get real deep up in here. Bear with me.
This past month the events in my life were like a domino effect. Something would go wrong, leading to another thing, and another thing, so on and so forth. It was all happening so fast that I couldn’t even stop to catch my breath, or to gather my thoughts even. Being positive in a moment like that is almost impossible, for me at least. So I’m not going to sit here and tell you to just breath, and that everything will work out in the end.. or to let go and let everything take its toll.
Realistically, your life is just as happy and joyful as you make it. I know this firsthand, you hold the key to your own success and happiness.
A month ago, when it seemed the world was against me, I couldn’t quite grasp that key. You see, I’m one of those “complain about it and you’ll feel better” types of people.
No, don’t worry, I sometimes hate myself too. It’s a problem and I realize that. Please see Emma Stone for reference.. Gosh, I love her.. Moving on!
Eventually, things will keep getting, for lack of a better word, bad, and you’ll find yourself at a crossroads. Shut it out, or do something about it.
Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and loose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room. -Cheryl Strayed
Mental note.. I feel like I’m writing up one of those infomercial scripts for workout equipment or something. The ones you see late at night, so incredibly corny but still convincing.
My point in all this is to tell you that I have bad days, heck, bad months even. Every mother needs to endure them, you need some lows to truley enjoy the highs. As much as it sucks.. thats life, its never fair.
When laundry piles up. When dinner itself is a battle. When housework is never-ending, and when you start to forget who you are, remember that I’ve been there. Hey, Im still here.. I write my way though moments like this. Almost the entirety of this post is my ramblings that are locked away in a draft.
I’m not a speaker, I don’t do therapy, and I can’t hold meaningful conversations to save my life. So I write.
I write my way to clear eyes.. to the clear eyes that show me I have a full heart. When you have a full heart, the last thing you’ll ever do is loose.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t loose.