I remember thinking up until Westin’s due date that life will just never be as easy as it was in that exact moment. Thing’s were actually just calming down. Wyatt was pretty self sufficient and the boy would nap with me throughout my entire pregnancy. If you’ve been pregnant before you know how precious little cat naps are.. I realize that the more children you have the more responsibility you gain.. However, no one tells you exactly how hard it really is. I have my good days, I have my great days, and some days are very trying. Today was one of those days.
Today has felt like an eternity.
Westin has officially decided to drop his second nap. Which is totally fine!! It gives us an entire afternoon to run around, go to the park, and sneak in trips to Target. My whole issue with this is that Westin may have dropped his second nap, but he definitely hasn’t dropped the all out war that happens when an infant gets overtired. He knows he’s tired come 2 PM, he likes that Momma still makes him a bottle, wraps him up, and attempts to rock him to sleep, but does that phase him? NOT. ONE. BIT. He finishes his bottle, those big brown eyes are nearly closed and then.. BAM! He does this stealth ninja move flipping himself over on his stomach and starts squealing like a little girl, ready to play.
His great plan turns on him around 5 PM, and he’s suddenly transformed into this little ball of pure emotion. Happy when he has his ball, sad when it falls down off the couch, complete fury when it rolls away. So, I’ve been dealing with that for about a month or so, but I guess you can say it peaked today. On a Monday, go figure right?!
No one ever tells you what its really like to be a Stay at Home Mother.
The irony that comes with being around your children all day is that you still feel alone. I constantly feel unplugged from the rest of the world, and sometimes that’s okay with me. I’m an introvert, always have been and probably always will be. Lately though, I find myself beginning to wonder if there’s more for me. I’ve been yearning to be a part of something, a group of friends, a work place, just something. It’s not at all that I’m tired of doing this, this is exactly what I signed up for, and I really do love it. I just need a change, something new.. Which is part of my reasoning for starting this blog.
When you have children Mothers really do loose a bit of themselves, and if you are a Mother and you haven’t lost yourself, even a little bit, I’d greatly appreciate some advice. I’m not saying any of these things in a whining manner at all. This is just what I think really happens. A Mothers brain is programmed differently after having a child. I didn’t realize it for a while because it really is normal to completely forget about your needs, but only for a while, at some point you’re supposed to kick back into gear and feel like yourself again. It’s the famous saying that you can’t help anyone else until you help yourself first.
When the plane is going down put on your face mask before assisting others. So here I am, writing, putting on my face mask before assisting others.
It may have also helped that I made an appointment to go get my hair done next week. Look good feel good right?
Through all the chaos I wouldn’t alter my life one bit. You have to get through some rainy days to truly appreciate the sunny ones. My children are my world, and I’ll be completely ecstatic when I’m blessed with another one. I just keep looking into the future when those Little Stringfellows grow up and have children of their own. I can see it now, my Husband and I will be sitting down for Thanksgiving Dinner one year and smile at each other from each end of the table, both of us knowing that is whole thing started with just us.